Being a tiger mom

A few days ago I took my daughter to a birthday party. One of the moms and I started talking about the activities our kids do, and I found myself rattling off about Monday dance class, Tuesday Russian Math, Wednesday Kumon and tae kwon do, Thursday more tkd, Saturday kumon and tkd, Sunday - drums and spiritual learning - and that is before the kids joined theatre - so now we have practice 3-5 times a week. The "Chinese" mom looked at me incredulously and said - "You're a tiger mom, aren't you?" I was stunned to hear that - I had never thought of it that way. I simply thought of it as stuff kids "have" to do - of course you need advanced math! And self defense! And a creative outlet, like dance or/and theatre or/and drums, and language class, and of course one needs to be spiritual!

In the weeks since I've simply been moving from task to task - class to class - always aware at the back of my head about I'm doing this so that kids need to pursue the right activities which will help them to go to college. I take a few mindfulness classes here and there with the hope that they will help with this stress that I've been imparting on myself. My kids are troopers - moving from one activity to another without any visible issues, only complaining once in a while of having no free time - to which I say - "You picked theatre!" and so on. And when we are home, I let them do their creative play which is doll playing for daughter and superhero play for son (even at 10!).

So I was stunned at a revelation that I had a few days ago: something has to give in this rush to succeed. In my case that's food - I have no time (and often inclination) to cook and plan meals. So all of us survive on our "whim of the day" food. My revelation was that if I don't make the kids eat right, have enough protein, vitamins, natural foods - then they will not have the health to succeed. It will be irrelevant that they go to a good college, if I'm limiting their life span, or overall health to enjoy their fruits of success. This has really made me pause. I realize that I have to think and plan for their food, and make meal plans, and give cooking some time in my schedule, and do whatever it takes to keep them healthy. And hopefully in the process I will get healthier too..