I have never wanted to be a manager. I don't see myself telling people what to do. I respect their individuality too much, and also I'm content being the developer with my head in the code. I love socializing but cannot imagine what I would do if I had to tell people to do their jobs. Or worse, correct them. I don't know if I would be defiant if they questioned me, or reasonable.
That is why I'm having a hard time being a good mom. Because a good mom is a good manager and those skills are hard to learn for me. I find it hard to give directions to the kids, setting up their time tables, following up on 'consequences' and all the things I promised them I would do. I find it much to easy to lax the rules, and let things slide. But I should not. I need to help them shape their habits, social and disciplinary skills. So I'm trying much harder. I'm trying to be more diligent about my son's homework and snack time. I'm trying to be a good mediator when the newest argument ensues between brother and sister, trying to enforce good brushing and eating habits, trying to plan healthy meals ahead, balancing their activities. And I find that I'm being a manager - a reluctant manager. And I forget so many things.
My newest challenge is teaching the kids and myself - the importance of being well-dressed. I notice how bad appearance affects peoples' judgement, but its easy to forget that when you're looking (rather, not looking) at yourself, and your kids. Often have the kids gone to school without combing their hair as I could not endure the tantrums that would cause in the morning. I've tried hard to bleach son's white shirts (what was the school thinking!) to no avail, and so he goes in semi-white Ts. I made the mistake of sending daughter to school in hand me downs that I had not sorted through, and they ended up looking like rags. So embarrassing! When will I get my act together? I don't know, but I do hope that now that I'm aware of it, its a first step. I'm going to try harder, and learn more of these life skills and pass it on to my impressionable kids.
And, to end with an optimistic(?) note, I overheard at preschool on friday: A mom telling the teacher "So... he's not brushed today... And not had any breakfast. And..". Well, I have to say that I felt smug. I did better.. on that day at least :)
That is why I'm having a hard time being a good mom. Because a good mom is a good manager and those skills are hard to learn for me. I find it hard to give directions to the kids, setting up their time tables, following up on 'consequences' and all the things I promised them I would do. I find it much to easy to lax the rules, and let things slide. But I should not. I need to help them shape their habits, social and disciplinary skills. So I'm trying much harder. I'm trying to be more diligent about my son's homework and snack time. I'm trying to be a good mediator when the newest argument ensues between brother and sister, trying to enforce good brushing and eating habits, trying to plan healthy meals ahead, balancing their activities. And I find that I'm being a manager - a reluctant manager. And I forget so many things.
My newest challenge is teaching the kids and myself - the importance of being well-dressed. I notice how bad appearance affects peoples' judgement, but its easy to forget that when you're looking (rather, not looking) at yourself, and your kids. Often have the kids gone to school without combing their hair as I could not endure the tantrums that would cause in the morning. I've tried hard to bleach son's white shirts (what was the school thinking!) to no avail, and so he goes in semi-white Ts. I made the mistake of sending daughter to school in hand me downs that I had not sorted through, and they ended up looking like rags. So embarrassing! When will I get my act together? I don't know, but I do hope that now that I'm aware of it, its a first step. I'm going to try harder, and learn more of these life skills and pass it on to my impressionable kids.
And, to end with an optimistic(?) note, I overheard at preschool on friday: A mom telling the teacher "So... he's not brushed today... And not had any breakfast. And..". Well, I have to say that I felt smug. I did better.. on that day at least :)
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