The reluctant manager

I have never wanted to be a manager. I don't see myself telling people what to do. I respect their individuality too much, and also I'm content being the developer with my head in the code. I love socializing but cannot imagine what I would do if I had to tell people to do their jobs. Or worse, correct them. I don't know if I would be defiant if they questioned me, or reasonable.

That is why I'm having a hard time being a good mom. Because a good mom is a good manager and those skills are hard to learn for me. I find it hard to give directions to the kids, setting up their time tables, following up on 'consequences' and all the things I promised them I would do. I find it much to easy to lax the rules, and let things slide. But I should not. I need to help them shape their habits, social and disciplinary skills. So I'm trying much harder. I'm trying to be more diligent about my son's homework and snack time. I'm trying to be a good mediator when the newest argument ensues between brother and sister, trying to enforce good brushing and eating habits, trying to plan healthy meals ahead, balancing their activities. And I find that I'm being a manager - a reluctant manager. And I forget so many things.

My newest challenge is teaching the kids and myself - the importance of being well-dressed. I notice how bad appearance affects peoples' judgement, but its easy to forget that when you're looking (rather, not looking) at yourself, and your kids. Often have the kids gone to school without combing their hair as I could not endure the tantrums that would cause in the morning. I've tried hard to bleach son's white shirts (what was the school thinking!) to no avail, and so he goes in semi-white Ts. I made the mistake of sending daughter to school in hand me downs that I had not sorted through, and they ended up looking like rags. So embarrassing! When will I get my act together? I don't know, but I do hope that now that I'm aware of it, its a first step. I'm going to try harder, and learn more of these life skills and pass it on to my impressionable kids.

And, to end with an optimistic(?) note, I overheard at preschool on friday: A mom telling the teacher "So... he's not brushed today... And not had any breakfast. And..". Well, I have to say that I felt smug. I did better.. on that day at least :)

"Let me tell you about my life"

Every parent has a different challenge with their kid. My current one is that I cannot get my 7 year old son to stop talking. You would think that this is a problem with girls, but my son can out talk them any day! Yesterday I took him to the nurse for a mandatory skin test required for school enrollment. By the time he walked out of the clinic, no less than 10 people knew that he had taken the test and the procedure involved. Then we stopped by to buy an antenna at Radioshack - by the time we walked out (in 5 minutes), the cashier knew that he had 41 dollars in savings - 2 $20 notes and a dollar note. He also had a fake million dollar note but he knows its fake. People seem entertained by his behaviour but I'm confused. How do I curb his need to pass data to everyone he meets? I think my son is needier than most - for attention - he wants to be the clown in the crowd - he wants people to like him and laugh at his jokes. But he does not handle a negative reaction well. Or worse, indifference! I need to make him realize his self worth, but I don't know how, as of now.