What about Mr. Woods?

This post has been especially hard to write.

I was discussing this: "Mom's response when daughter hit a student" with my 8 year old daughter - a kid mature beyond her years. I was explaining to her how she should stand up for herself if anyone mistreated her. And she reminded me of an incident that happened 1.5 years ago. She asked me - what about Mr. Woods?

In October 2015 my daughter went to an afterschool program in Cupertino, CA. It was started by a mom, H. M. during the summer of 2015. My kids had attended a few weeks of the summer camp and enjoyed it. So I started them at the after school program.

An instructor called Mr. Woods taught public speaking and creative writing to the kids there. I enrolled my kids in his writing program. After about a month my daughter started picking options like yoga instead of his writing class. I got mad at her, till one evening when we were alone in the car, and I sensed something was wrong. I started a casual discussion asking why she didn't like his class. What she said brought chills to my heart. It started off with - I just don't want to attend his class and progressed to - I don't like how he touches me. It turns out that he would seek her out and then rub her back, all the way to the bottom. He would insist that she sit on his lap. And she kept telling him no, but he wouldn't listen. She told me this happened frequently to her. I saw my daughter's expression as her story unfurled. I saw the shame. I hugged and assured her that this was not her fault, and she did the right thing by telling me. I went on to talk to her about inappropriate touches are and how she should always complain if she's not comfortable. I was seething inside. She was only 6.

I narrated the incident to my friend, and my husband. We texted Hemica and informed her that night. She said she had noticed girls on his lap but not thought much of it. She said she would fire him and take action. Naive that we were, we thought she would. I stopped my daughter from going there - did not even ask for a refund. But nothing changed at the after school. Days passed, months even, I would still see Mr Woods' run down red car parked when I drove by. I met Hemica in February by chance. I gave her my mind - it had been 3 months - as to how she could behave so irresponsibly while running an after school program with children. Her argument was that now she had 2 teachers watching him at all times and a no touch policy. I couldn't believe it! Did she even realize how serious this was? Was it because she has boys and never experienced it? Either she is foolish or only interested in the bottom line.

More months passed and it was June 2016. I finally had the courage to draft an email (but not yet send). Summer was starting - that meant more kids, more exposure to a sick man. I felt like I had to do something. But he finally left around that time. He moved to another town from what I heard.

I did not have the courage to write this earlier. I did not have the courage to take any action on this. I have shared this information with just a few friends. My daughter refused to let me talk to anyone about it, but I think I was a coward too. I couldn't bring it up. I mentioned it recently to another friend whose kid goes to the same program - she told me she had sensed that something was amiss about him. The way he dressed for a 50+ year old man, with a punk hairstyle, driving a rundown car, living in a trailer - doing a job that people in this area get paid tons for. With his so called credentials, why wasn't he pursuing a better job? I don't know. I only know that he was a sick man - and what he did to my daughter was unacceptable. As was the behavior of the owner of the afterschool program.

So I'm finally writing this post when I have courage - for my daughter.

Who needs reality when there's fantasy!

As you can tell if you're following my posts, I recently watched the movie - Beauty and the Beast. I really like how Disney can transport you to another world. Well, not just Disney, movies in general - or books - its such an immersive journey! I love how it makes me forget everything else. For those few hours when I'm watching, or reading, I am in a different world. Everything else is forgotten - there are no dishes, no fighting kids, no work, nothing else but the fantasy in your head. I can see how addictive it is!

Beauty and the Beast

I still believe in fairy tales. I guess that's kinda odd for my age.. but I'm a dreamer. What else can I say!

I just returned after watching the new movie 'Beauty and the Beast'. What a romantic, feel-good movie! I liked that the heroine was intelligent! And an avid reader. And there was humor and warmth. It was easier relating to this Belle than other Disney heroines. And it was easier relating to the beast as he was flawed, as people are. Though Luke Evan actually stole my heart in a wonderful performance as Gaston.

Being a tiger mom

A few days ago I took my daughter to a birthday party. One of the moms and I started talking about the activities our kids do, and I found myself rattling off about Monday dance class, Tuesday Russian Math, Wednesday Kumon and tae kwon do, Thursday more tkd, Saturday kumon and tkd, Sunday - drums and spiritual learning - and that is before the kids joined theatre - so now we have practice 3-5 times a week. The "Chinese" mom looked at me incredulously and said - "You're a tiger mom, aren't you?" I was stunned to hear that - I had never thought of it that way. I simply thought of it as stuff kids "have" to do - of course you need advanced math! And self defense! And a creative outlet, like dance or/and theatre or/and drums, and language class, and of course one needs to be spiritual!

In the weeks since I've simply been moving from task to task - class to class - always aware at the back of my head about I'm doing this so that kids need to pursue the right activities which will help them to go to college. I take a few mindfulness classes here and there with the hope that they will help with this stress that I've been imparting on myself. My kids are troopers - moving from one activity to another without any visible issues, only complaining once in a while of having no free time - to which I say - "You picked theatre!" and so on. And when we are home, I let them do their creative play which is doll playing for daughter and superhero play for son (even at 10!).

So I was stunned at a revelation that I had a few days ago: something has to give in this rush to succeed. In my case that's food - I have no time (and often inclination) to cook and plan meals. So all of us survive on our "whim of the day" food. My revelation was that if I don't make the kids eat right, have enough protein, vitamins, natural foods - then they will not have the health to succeed. It will be irrelevant that they go to a good college, if I'm limiting their life span, or overall health to enjoy their fruits of success. This has really made me pause. I realize that I have to think and plan for their food, and make meal plans, and give cooking some time in my schedule, and do whatever it takes to keep them healthy. And hopefully in the process I will get healthier too..

Stand up comedy

I mostly think of writing when I'm struggling with parenting - but today I'm writing because I don't want to lose this pleasant moment. Forget pleasant - I'm downright skipping! My 9 year old son did stand up comedy at the school's talent show, and rocked it. I got accosted by teachers who were gushing on what a natural he is. Why is this so important? Because I worry too much about my son. He loves attention and sometimes that makes him unruly at school - as he'll go to great lengths entertaining other kids by being silly. And he loves to talk - so much that kids stay away from him as he's too verbose for a 3rd grader.

That's one of the reasons why today is so important. As it shows me that its OK for a kid to be talkative and loving attention. It has perks. I cannot imagine anyone having no fear going in front of a 400+ audience and improvising, and yet that's what he did. He changed the material based on what people were excited about. He was calm through the whole routine - which was about embarassing his family (of course!).

There's another reason this event makes me happy. Its because I came up with his script. He modified it and made it personal, but I gave him the framework and that makes me more confident about my writing skills. (I really need to get on with writing that book.) My content, and his comic timing worked so well together. I finally see words from my mind taking other shape, and it motivates me to start writing.

And so here I am, writing my blog.. :-)

An opportunity I'm glad I didn't pass up on

Its been time to do something for myself. Life as a mom is going to be ever demanding but I need to find sanity in mine. feel a purpose and do things that I like to do instead of what I have to do.

I got an opportunity like that recently - to attend my college reunion - in my favorite place in the world Jaisalmer in Rajasthan. I could not pass it up inspite of having visited India not so long ago. It was not a rational decision, thank God - I followed my heart, and my family followed.

The trip allowed me to revisit a part of me that had been lost in the past 13 years. Why had it been lost is a question that will take some assessment - I changed my profession, I got married to someone I didn't know, had kids, was in a different country, without the grounding factor of friends and family - which meant I make my own decisions. My lovely hardworking mother - as wonderful as she is - has left me with few decision making capabilities. I was used to letting her make decisions for me - and then my husband. Having kids has been liberating in that I actually got the pass to be myself - because that's what I want the kids to know me as, and I want to expand their horizons.

Anyways, I digress, my Rajasthan trip was incredible - it allowed me to be free in a setting where I wasn't used to being free. It was great to be myself and not have to worry about people judging me - because it didn't matter. I didn't have to go back in a classroom with them and do multiple projects together and so have to fit in.

What it did to me - was reconnect me with old friends like never before - with the superficiality out of the way I could see the wonderful (and not so wonderful) characteristics in all my friends and accept it all.

Ziplining on Mehrangarh fort was the most thrilling thing I've done. It gave me a taste of flying that I've always wanted to feel. Someone once told me that people who flying their dreams are creative people. I used to dream of it before but haven't since years. I felt it again. It was a milestone for me to feel.

My girlfriends made the trip amazing - the pillow talks with R (of I can call it that - we shared a room together and were lying on pillows when we talked) brought me so much closer to her. Being in the same-ish stages in life made us relate to each other even more. Singing with M - was so thrilling. I used to be very shy in college - am even now with people I don't know - but with this group - we sang to our hearts delight and it was so beautiful - especially under the canopy in Pokhran. And the bus rides with T - my oldest friend from college - I was scared of what to expect here - but we connected again - yes, we had some issues but the important thing is that we overcame it and our friendship got reconnected. It was liberating.

There were parts of the trip that I did not like. I still felt like I needed validation from our professor, and I felt like a misfit at times due to my different profession and location - but that is the way of life.

I feel so recharged - I want to hold on to this - I want to hold on to these friends but I'm worried that this too shall pass. I hope I can make an effort and keep the connection going - because I love this part of me that had been lost, and I want to keep it alive and happy.

New Year Resolutions, of course :)

It started out as a normal day, but on the eve of the New Year, I find myself pondering over the year gone by, and what I want to do in the coming year. Like everyone, I want to accomplish a lot more in the next year. Here's a list of what I would like to do:
- Read good, inspirational books that I can learn from.
- Write a journal, maybe a guided one to start with, that includes a section to track good deeds (and negative ones to conquer).
- Stay in touch with more people - via phone calls, emails, fb, whatsapp - any medium
- Learn something new - with focus on one topic at a time. Learn the way I did while growing up, with a time-table to track progress, and challenging tests. If I take a course, I want to set a stopping time for it,
- Pursue a hobby - drawing, crafts, dancing... Include kids in this too
- Spend time one on one with each kid
- Be organized with kids - set boundaries and keep them
- Stop hoarding and do some de-cluttering
- Have a game night with the kids, and planned activities to do with them
- Make time for date nights with hubby - maybe every friday night
- Spend some nights watching fav shows with hubby - and discuss them
- Have some peaceful family dinners or breakfast.
- Exercise - make it happen - make a plan - and stick to it.
- Watch game shows with kids, maybe at dinner!
- And of course, lose weight!

Post note: I did start working out using the Kinect Biggest Loser Game on 1/2. There's hope yet...

The reluctant manager

I have never wanted to be a manager. I don't see myself telling people what to do. I respect their individuality too much, and also I'm content being the developer with my head in the code. I love socializing but cannot imagine what I would do if I had to tell people to do their jobs. Or worse, correct them. I don't know if I would be defiant if they questioned me, or reasonable.

That is why I'm having a hard time being a good mom. Because a good mom is a good manager and those skills are hard to learn for me. I find it hard to give directions to the kids, setting up their time tables, following up on 'consequences' and all the things I promised them I would do. I find it much to easy to lax the rules, and let things slide. But I should not. I need to help them shape their habits, social and disciplinary skills. So I'm trying much harder. I'm trying to be more diligent about my son's homework and snack time. I'm trying to be a good mediator when the newest argument ensues between brother and sister, trying to enforce good brushing and eating habits, trying to plan healthy meals ahead, balancing their activities. And I find that I'm being a manager - a reluctant manager. And I forget so many things.

My newest challenge is teaching the kids and myself - the importance of being well-dressed. I notice how bad appearance affects peoples' judgement, but its easy to forget that when you're looking (rather, not looking) at yourself, and your kids. Often have the kids gone to school without combing their hair as I could not endure the tantrums that would cause in the morning. I've tried hard to bleach son's white shirts (what was the school thinking!) to no avail, and so he goes in semi-white Ts. I made the mistake of sending daughter to school in hand me downs that I had not sorted through, and they ended up looking like rags. So embarrassing! When will I get my act together? I don't know, but I do hope that now that I'm aware of it, its a first step. I'm going to try harder, and learn more of these life skills and pass it on to my impressionable kids.

And, to end with an optimistic(?) note, I overheard at preschool on friday: A mom telling the teacher "So... he's not brushed today... And not had any breakfast. And..". Well, I have to say that I felt smug. I did better.. on that day at least :)

"Let me tell you about my life"

Every parent has a different challenge with their kid. My current one is that I cannot get my 7 year old son to stop talking. You would think that this is a problem with girls, but my son can out talk them any day! Yesterday I took him to the nurse for a mandatory skin test required for school enrollment. By the time he walked out of the clinic, no less than 10 people knew that he had taken the test and the procedure involved. Then we stopped by to buy an antenna at Radioshack - by the time we walked out (in 5 minutes), the cashier knew that he had 41 dollars in savings - 2 $20 notes and a dollar note. He also had a fake million dollar note but he knows its fake. People seem entertained by his behaviour but I'm confused. How do I curb his need to pass data to everyone he meets? I think my son is needier than most - for attention - he wants to be the clown in the crowd - he wants people to like him and laugh at his jokes. But he does not handle a negative reaction well. Or worse, indifference! I need to make him realize his self worth, but I don't know how, as of now.

How do you teach your kids the difference between wants and needs?

An interesting dilemma for parents, especially during the holiday season is - How do you teach your kids the difference between wants and needs? To me, need is something important, maybe something you cannot do without, and want is a bigger set of everything you would like to have. It would be a good idea to start by teaching the kids the value of things - that we need money to buy something, and that money comes from working hard. So, it should be used wisely. I believe its a good idea to mention the budget and discuss about money. Then I would ask the kids to prioritize their 'wants' in a list with guidelines like: "If you could have just 2 things what would they be? Write that first". And if the items are more expensive than I'd like, I would try - "If you could get both B and C instead of A what would you pick?". While going through the list I would also ask questions like "Do you really need another of that (when you have an older version), or do you just want one?" And lastly, I would make sure he participated in a toy drive for the needy and explain that this is for kids who don't have what he does, and he needs to keep that in mind while asking for something.

Note: After going through the process of writing this blog I realize I will have to update my list to follow these rules...

Topic inspired by: http://www.socialmoms.net/forum/topic/listForTag?tag=writing+prompt

Italy with young kids - part 2: Tuscany

A lot of your perception about a place depend of the order of places you visit, and timing. I did not enjoy Venice too much - due to jet lag, or bridges=less child friendly travel. Tuscany however, was the best part of the trip.

We took the #2 transit water bus to Piazzale Roma stop, and walked to our Hertz rental. Of course a reservation at noon wasn't ideal, considering that it was Italy, and siesta time is not a myth. So we waited in the chilling breeze for 40 minutes before the personnel showed up and gave us our (expensive) one way economy car - class D (from Venice to Rome). We did get the GPS (thanks heavens) even though we had to pay 50 euros extra to return at a different location.

Our first experience of "What am I doing here" kind of driving was in Padua. I wanted to see Galileo Galilei's house in Padua but the GPS led us through extremely narrow roads, and we had to avoid the "Zona Traffico Limitato" signs in case they were pedestrian roads. Needless to say we did not make it to the house, and it removed all chances of stopping by Vicenza where I wanted to see Andrea Palladio's work. Well, next time!

We reached the farmhouse Borgo al Cerro in Casole d'Elsa at dusk. After settling our bags, we drove up to the beginning of the town and stopped at a friendly family owned pizzeria, where I brushed up my Italian. Well, actually, hubby understood what they were saying based on their hand movements, he claims. Like "Leave the beer in the fridge so it stays cool till you leave". The farmhouse was nice. Ours was Monterriggiano - 2 beds and one functioning bathroom. Not bad for the price we paid. No breakfast included.

Day 5: Went to Florence. We had taken a tour with Presto tours and Sandra was very good. We were a bit late having circled the train station parking area a few times, after missing the small sign with a downward arrow pointing to the parking. Though expensive it was a good place to park and walk since Florence is notorious for its tickets if you cross the "Zona Traffico Limitato" sign. These were good resources for parking in Florence:
http://www.reidsguides.com/italy/destinations/tuscany/florence/transport/to_by_car.html
http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Travel-g187893-c145503/Tuscany:Italy:Parking.In.Florence.html
http://tuscany.travel/en/transports-in-tuscany/getting-to-and-around-tuscany/parking-in-florence/

Since we were late we only got an overview of the city but I loved it. I loved the Renaissance buildings, art everywhere. It was hard to finally believe that this was where some of the most creative minds in the world had worked. Being on a short timeline, I would recommend taking a tour. Sandra gave us some insight into Italian life. What I remember the most was - Gelataria Artignale means handmade ice-cream. Thats the one to take. And, Italians never get one flavor if gelato, so don't hesitate to mix flavors. She also told us that Palazzo Pitti was a must see, even more than the hyped up Uffizi gallery that was always packed. I enjoyed the stroll through the famous bridge Ponte Vecchio. If I were staying in Florence, I would do a tour of the hidden passages on that bridge where the Medici family would secretly oversee the city.

The "Gates of Paradise" of the baptistery to the Duomo were marvelous - they took Lorenzo Ghiberti 21 years to make and the panels are exquisite - scenes captured in 3D. The Dome of the cathedral is wonderful, being the "Mother Dome" of all, but the cathedral is quite sparse since the marble on the walls used up all the budget.

Michelangelo's David was breathtaking. The scale is so amazing, and his facial expression is so well captured. When you read that Michelangelo carved it out of a discarded marble piece, it seems even more dramatic.

It was exciting to see life like sculptures of the "gurus" outside the Uffizi - Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci etc, to see how they must have looked like in real life. Experiencing the sculptures in public places in Florence was way better than Rome where its mostly been pilfered, and can be found in museums. I felt that Florence still retained its old charm - I could still see it the way it was years ago, unlike Rome.

We had good inexpensive lunch on arrabiata and pesto pasta and coffee at Caffe Martelli Snack bar near Accademia Gallery that houses Michelangelo's David. To Be Continued..

Italy with young kids - part 1: Venice

I'm back, in one piece, from Italy. That's a good thing - considering the brave venture - Italy with kids ages 2 and 5. A last minute plan is the only way it could have happened, because if I'd reasoned, I would have given up on it. So how was it, you wonder? Nothing short of spectacular, AND totally doable with kids.

The itinerary - fly into Venice, spend 2 nights there, then drive to Tuscany, with 4 nights in a Tuscan farmhouse, and drop off the car in Rome, with a stay for 3 nights.

The trip planning - I did not use a travel agent, though I would ask Costco or AAA next time for a quote. I didn't know any other agent. Air France was offering package deals to Italy, but I thought the hotels were a bit far, and wasnt sure if they would charge my kids for the price of the package (which would be a waste as they were mostly free in hotels). I found and tracked flights at www.yapta.com, and checked reviews on www.tripadvisor.com. I wanted to live in the city center (Venice and Rome), so I didnt need to take too much public transport, and we lived in apartments wherever available, so I could have the convenience of a fridge and such.

We packed light, which was a huge advantage - We only had one suitcase, one carry on (to keep in the flight in case our bags were lost by the airline), and 2 backpacks... and 2 strollers. Which was pretty good for 10 days, I'd say. We totally didn't use the swim stuff, and could have used extra jackets/warm clothes. I should have carried one more tour book, as Fodor's guide book on Italy was just average.

Trip prep for kids - reading children's books on Ancient Rome (my favorite was
See Inside Ancient Rome by Katie Daynes) and the Magic Tree house series on Leonardo da Vinci (Monday with a Mad Genius) and Venice (Carnival at Candlelight).

I'm based in California, so it was a long flight on Air France to Venice. We had the middle four seats, so kids could stretch a bit and sleep on the flight. Rest of the time they were entertained by cards, doodles and stories. The flight to Paris did not have individual screens (but the return did, thankfully). We did run into an issue with the stroller check-in at the gate. It turns out that Air France sends the stroller straight to the final destination. We spent a lot of time at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris before figuring that out. Another note - there is an HSBC ATM at this airport which has a better exchange rate than the airports in Venice. We didnt stop as we were short on time, but wish we had.

Day 1: At Venice, after picking up the bags, we exited the airport and saw the Water Taxi booth. Cost to hotel San Zulian, which is inside a narrow waterway off the grand canal, was E110, versus E100 for drop off on the canal. We went for the "drop closest to doorstep" but it was quite a waste as you'll see.

Like a good tourist, I saw Rick Steve's Venice episode before I left. He said - You'll get lost in Venice, and I thought - not me, I'm good at directions. Well, I'm humbled. The maps hardly make sense, and the street names are rarely didplayed. With all the waterways, and walkways through buildings, we ended up walking for an hour before finding the hotel. That was our least fun part of Venice, but did help us get over the jetlag.

The hotel was lovely, small but efficient, with modern fixtures, free breakfast in bed and an elevator! It was centrally located, right next to St. Mark's Piazza, which is why we booked it. Once we, ahem, understood the directions, it was quite convenient.

Our first stop was to an ATM. I had checked that Bank Of America has an affiliation with BNL Italia, so transactions have no fees. I'd mapped out the location (ahem, again) and we eventually found it. By now, we had seen most of our neighborhood and we went to a street near our house for dinner. Being a tourist hub, with waiters beckoning people, we gave in and went to one. We took a seat in the patio, with an outdoor heater and ate really bad food. That pasta was the blandest I've eaten. And we were in Italy! The hotel was San Tommaso and we should have checked the reviews...

We were on a trip to Italy, so we were prepared with money belts, except, we didn't realize how uncomfortable they are. So, on our first night, while removing cash, my husband dropped his credit card. Of course, we didn't find it, and now we only had one backup card, which we had to keep safe for the upcoming car rental. Ah, such adventure! We had to re-learn the art of carrying cash around.

Day 2: We started the day walking to St. Mark's square, and saw Doge's Palace. The most fascinating part for the 5 year old boy was the larger than life sword. For me, it was the Golden Staircase, and the rooms where the king held court. The celings were so beautiful! Cranky kids prevented us from checking out the prison.

We ate lunch at an open air restaurant in a piazza that we chanced upon on our way to Rialto bridge. It had amazing bruschetta with cherry tomatoes, and spinach cannelloni in tomato-alfredo sauce. Soon after, but of course after leaving the restaurant, my son needed to rush to a restroom! We learnt that the huge WC signs around lead to paid, but clean, public rest rooms. From there we took the water bus (vaporetti) number 1 (which stops everywhere in the Grand Canal), and got familiar with the Piazzale Roma stop where we would be renting a car from. We then decided to go to Murano, even though it was 4:30 and the boat ride was long. By the time we reached, the factories were closed, and it was time to return. Dinner that night was at a pizzeria under the Rialto bridge where I had an exhorbitant caprese salad of E17 because they didn't have any vegetarian options except pizza. I did not realize till later that the other side of Rialto had a ton of restaurants which were less posh but served better food with more options. Food was terrible in Venice, and I would suggest carrying a list of good restaurants (that you can try if you don't get lost). I found this amazing site (after I came back, sigh) - http://wikitravel.org/en/Venice

Day 3 - We checked out in the morning after breakfast but left the bags behind at the hotel. We saw St. Mark's basilica, shopped for souvenirs, and then took Vaporetti #2 to Piazzale Roma for the car rental. That was an awesome water bus - we should have taken that instead of 1 the previous times...

The car rental office (Hertz) was close, but at 1pm when we reached, all the staff disappeared for 45 minutes - probably to lunch, leaving us in the cold. Once back they were efficient, and we got a "Vehicle Type: (D) Ford Focus or similar" manual transmission car. We managed to fit 2 bags in the hatchback, and the 2 backpacks and strollers were in the backseat.

Next stop - Tuscany, in the next part...

Helpful Resources:
http://wikitravel.org/en/Venice - should have found this before the trip.

top 10 tips for getting away with great family travel deals

This blog is as much for me as it is for you. Its easy to forget how to plan a trip with young kids, and this would serve as a good reminder...

A little about me - I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. We live in California. My son's first airplane trip was at 6 months, to Seattle, after which we've been to Florida (Disney World), India, Utah (Yellowstone National park), New York, Palm Springs, camping at Yosemite (with a 3 month old daughter), and so on. Our latest trip was to Seattle (again, in February), and we're planning one to Europe soon. I am very passionate about travelling. "The Vagabond" by R.L.Stevenson, is one of my favorite poems:

Give to me the life I love,
Let the lave go by me,
Give the jolly heaven above
And the byway nigh me.
...
Wealth I seek not, hope nor love,
Nor a friend to know me;
All I seek, the heaven above
And the road below me.
...

Well, I can't be quite the vagabond, being a mom and wife, but I can give them my passion, and take them along with me.

Here are some travel tips:
1. Vacation rentals have been our saviour with 2 kids. Having a kitchenette ensures a breakfast to start the day, even if its just bread, butter and milk.
Fed kids = less cranky kids
During our (extremely hectic) trip to Disney World, Florida, we stayed at a Marriott vacation villa outside town, and it was wonderful. The kids had their own space, we would eat dinner at home if kids were tired after a long day, and there was a pool to unwind in.

2. Travel before your kids start kindergarten (if this is an option). That way you can have off season advantages. Less money, fewer crowds and smaller lines make the vacation more meaningful and fun.

3. If possible take long distance trips before your child turns 2. That way kids fly free or on international trips you only pay the airline taxes. Yes, the disadvantage may be that the child can’t run around or remember the trip when she's older, but it works great if your child can take afternoon naps in a stroller or is at least a little stroller friendly.

4. If you have 2 kids, and are doing a big walking trip like Disney World, I highly recommend the sit and stand or double stroller. Since my kids are 3 years apart, my Joovy Caboose Sit N Stand stroller was an immense help (for straight roads)

5. Travel with other families, if possible. That way the kids have company as well as you. Finding like-minded people is more important than the exact same age group. It would be possible to babysit the kids alternately, and each couple could enjoy some alone time!

6. I recently discovered yapta.com, which allows you to track flights, with emails if the price changes. It’s a great tool for a vacation in works.

7. Carry all the possible children’s medications as its best to be prepared for emergency situations.

8. Carry extra pairs of clothes in a carryon for air/car travel, in case they get air/car sick and throw up. Don’t forget to pack a pair for you.

9. The portable DVD player really comes in handy on long flights. For long car drives, we love children’s audio books. For the young ones, there are many early reader books in the library that come with an audio cd, which comes in handy.

10. Have your kid carry his own bag or backpack with toys/books packed specially for the trip. Read books to fill time and carry crayons, activity books and even play dough to keep them busy.

11. With kids travel is unpredictable, so if it’s a trip you are investing in heavily, pay for extra trip insurance for peace of mind.

Happy traveling. Remember, its good to start them young on the joy of travel. Hope you
find these tips useful and please feel free to drop me a line if you have comments or questions.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Alamo blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Tools of the Mind

Like many parents I'm browsing through books to give me some insight into parenting. I started reading Nurture Shock and while I agree that it is thought provoking and full of facts, I don't see much of the solution to fix the issues found. I am however, intrigued by the "Tools of the Mind" information. I'm on a quest to discipline my son without too many arguments (yeah, like that's possible). The first step was to enroll him in martial arts. Now, I want to try "TOTM" in our spare time. I'm always wondering how to play to engage him, and I got some tips here:
http://www.mscd.edu/extendedcampus/toolsofthemind/parents/playgroupideas.shtml
Hoping that I can include my toddler in these "games" and learn a bit myself!

First words

My baby is no longer a baby. She finally started talking. All of a sudden yesterday, Aug 16 2010, she started speaking - sheesh-ear=sit here, foo-duh=food, hotte=hot. But the best part (so far) happened today. Like all good moms, I dutifully ate the (homemade) french fries that she fed me. And when I ate the bite she said: "Good". My eyes got so wide, and hubby and I stared an incredulous look. She had just fed me and said good. Exactly the way we do to her. This was too funny. We laughed hysterically for a full minute. This is one cute memory.